Oh boy… we’ve seen a lot of, uh, unique questions posed over at “ Ask Reddit ” in the past. They’ve generated worst roommate stories , unethical ways of saving money stories , stories of the creepiest things people have walked in on , but today, today the ante has been upped. When I saw that Redditor de_sente had asked the question, “Girls, what’s the strangest thing you’ve masturbated with?” there was no doubt I was going to read it. So, since I had that reaction, I kind of figured you too might have the same reaction when presented with that topic. Being the swell guy that I am I went ahead and saved you the time of sifting through all of the responses and snagged the best ones for you right here. Thoughtful of me, wasn’t it? Ready? Okay, here we go…
I was at a spinning class today and my bike was a little wobbly, and somehow the cycling action was making my clit rub against the my labia/the seat (through my pants and leggings of course) and I had an orgasm right there in spin. Luckily it’s very dark in the spin room and I sit in the back row so nobody could tell.
So uh, a bike seat. ~ NAME
A curling wand. Obviously wasn’t plugged in. But a little warmth makes it that much more real. ~ sweatypalmsss
When I was a kid, I masturbated with my Squiggle Wiggle Pen, which was both shaped similar to and vibrated like a dildo. My mom caught me, and she made me throw it out. But by then, I was so addicted to cumming, that I secretly fished it out of the garbage. The next time she caught me with it, she told me that if I ever touched myself again, she would take me to the doctor and tell them something was wrong with me. Looking back, she did a real shit job on sex ed.
EDIT: I did not expect anyone to notice this post or for it to blow up. This is somewhat mortifying. Thanks for all being chill.
EDIT 2: I am weirdly relieved to learn that others also did this, girls and boys. Also, for those of you wondering, this is a commercial for the pen: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ktpH6D9JcYo ~ OhToday
Probably the counter in the bathroom at work. It’s a one person bathroom, and the sink counter is exactly crotch height. I can hump it in such a way that the corner rubs my clitoris til I cum. I’ve only done it once. ~ GinevraWPotter
N64 controller with a Rumble Pak. I just walked Mario into a corner and rumbled away. ~ Pans_Flabyrinth
A prismacolor marker in powder blue that I dipped in wax several times to increase the width. I then wrapped it in saran wrap and went to town… ~ numberonefishfry
I made a contraption using a spoon with a thick plastic handle, and the spoon part cupping this little soft toy I had that had a pull string vibration motor in it. I’d have probably preferred it to be a motor with a battery but I just worked with what I had!
I imagine if I’d ever been caught it would’ve looked like I was try to start a tiny chainsaw inside myself. ~ Dr_Jenny_McCarthy
Electric toothbrush. ~ walkingmoon
One of those tubes of M&M minis before I was old enough to buy a real sex toy. It worked well. I think they still sell these, lol. ~ throwawaythrowaway38
I once made a wooden dildo in woodshop for shits and giggles. For some reason none of my friends wanted to try it out. ~ Pompousasfuck
A toy Gandalf.
Technically it wasn’t really masturbation I just wanted to see if he would fit. ~ throughmeawhey
I found a finished roll of one of those sticky lint removers, and the handle was pretty phallic shaped. To keep it even smoother and easier to use I took a rubber glove and put one of the fingers over the handle and just tied the rest around the non usable portion. ~ alheli-
I used to have a bed with a ball on the post (the post was only about about 2 feet high and the ball on the post was quite small) and I remember using that. ~ taekwondo_girl_lily
I once made a dildo out of legos… ~ UltimateArts13
Definitely not a Barbie doll leg… ~ Kraessa
Check out the rest of the bizarre masturbation stories over at Reddit . Shocked woman image by Shutterstock