I love women. I believe that if women were not around to ground us neanderthals, every one of us dudes would all be in a giant field drinking Four Locos, beating our chests, and helicoptering our dicks. Two out of the three I’m down for, but I’m admittedly not a Four Loko guy. With that said, my biggest fear is bringing a girl into this world and trying to nurture to her innate sensibilities while teaching her right from wrong. Because in 2016, young girls are being taught to embrace their bodies while at the same time reality ‘stars’ like Farrah Abraham and the Kardashian klan are using their God-given bodies as a light suggestion. Oh you don’t like your tits? Pump ’em with plastic. Your ass doesn’t look like a giant peach? Stuff those cheeks with plastic. Lips thinner than Tara Reid’s wrists? See answers to questions 1 and 2. Oh ya, and hunny, don’t forget to have sex with a man on camera. I’ll pick you up at 3 from school! The 25-year-old Farrah Abraham looks to have fully embraced the whole plastic surgery life. If you’re scoring at home, the young mother has had THREE boob jobs , lip injections that went horribly , and now it seems she locked down those butt implants that she so desperately needed. This is a picture was taken in June of 2013 when Farrah was 22. Farrah looks like she went 22 years of skipping squat day, no? Well, it’s amazing what three shorts years and a shot of silicon can do to a booty.
Admittedly, the doctor did some nice work. What confuses me is why she’s grabbing a pool float in this pic. She’s so full of plastic I’m pretty sure she’ll float like a buoy. Who am I to speculate? P.S. It’s only a matter of time before Farrah is resting her chin on these knockers.