Uncle Jesse Sure Pulled Himself A Hot Girlfriend For Being A Failed Musician And Living In Danny Tanner’s Attic

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Uncle Jesse Sure Pulled Himself A Hot Girlfriend For Being A Failed Musician And Living In Danny Tanner’s Attic

Uncle Jesse is the anti-American Dream. Danny Tanner works his fucking dad jeans off to be the bread winner in the family while Jesse chills up in the attic that his brother pays for holding on to a music dream that should have died when Reagan was in office. Jesse and the Rippers’ big day in the sun was opening for Puddle of Mudd at the local Chili’s. If noone has the balls to tell Katsopolis, I will: Yo Jess, it’s not a career if you don’t make any money. It’s a hobby. I don’t jerk off in my basement and report it on my taxes. Anyway, it goes to show you that mooching off your brother and not having a viable career is erroneous when you have hair that would Jared Leto blush. No one can deny Uncle Jesse’s maple syrupy complexion and his perfectly wafted locks. Simply heavenly. That’s what must’ve allowed the 52-year-old to lock down certified scud missile, Caitlin McHugh. McHugh is a model and small time actress, making short appearances in  I Am Legend  and is best known for her role in Vampire Diaries . She fits the bill for my liking: dark hair, dark eyes, athletic build, girl next door look with a hint of possible freak mixed in. Once she’s sees Jesse and the Rippers in concert, I’m sure she’ll second guess the relationship. That’s when a doughy, uninspired blogger steps in to show her what she’s missing.

#attitude 📸 @lizaboone 💇🏽💄 @stacybmakeup

A photo posted by Caitlin McHugh (@caitlinskybound) on

While everyone else stands around I’m dancing my little booty off to #grouplove #BottleRock #napa

A photo posted by Caitlin McHugh (@caitlinskybound) on

One of my favorite places to be in the summer. Keeping it cool. Keeping it clean. #poolparty #summerlovin

A photo posted by Caitlin McHugh (@caitlinskybound) on

Working on my fierce face with @susanbowlusphoto who knows what she’s doing with her camera. #wilhelminamodels #unedited

A photo posted by Caitlin McHugh (@caitlinskybound) on

@jeevosity and i are rocking bikinis all day, e’ry day #hotstuff #yachtlife #randomtropicalparadise

A photo posted by Caitlin McHugh (@caitlinskybound) on

#fingerscrossed hoping to get on an earlier flight and without a change fee–I know #goodluck

A photo posted by Caitlin McHugh (@caitlinskybound) on