Remember the Jersey Shore days, bros? Those were simpler times. Times when we could black out and puke down our chins and take comfort in the fact that there were six people out there who are bigger first-class fuck ups than us. If you told me back in 2009 that by 2016, the world would lose Paul Walker, Jett Jackson, and Robin Williams while every member of the Jersey Shore still had a pulse, I’d tell you that your prediction is extremely specific and while slowly backing away I’d ask if you were planning on killing Paul, Jett, and Robin. But I’m glad that the entire cast has assimilated quite nicely into society. And I literally have no basis for that statement besides the fact that I haven’t seen any headlines like ‘The Situation Arrested After Assaulting Handicapped Child’ or ‘Sammi Sweetheart Midget Gang Bang Video Leaked’. No news is good news I guess. After four years since the show’s last episode, maybe the most shocking news to me may be the evolution of JWoww’s face. She was my #1 pick and maybe the only girl on the show who I wouldn’t gauge my eyes after spending more than 30 seconds with. But the JWoww I once knew is gone, and has been replaced by a girl with no name. I understand a few years can change one’s look, but I honestly wouldn’t recognize her if I passed her on the street boardwalk.
Quick before and after. I mean, I’m not complaining.
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Am I grasping at straws here or is JWoww trying to avoid an arrest warrant from 2009 or something?