At someone point in life every single person who tastes the carnal pleasures is going to experience a moment that is awkward as hell. Whether it’s a tale of an untimely interruption, a gaseous emission, or something much worse, we’ve all got a few sexual mishap stories tucked away for rainy days. And apparently it’s raining today because a lot of people decided to share stories of the most awkward things they’ve ever experienced during sex, and these are pretty WTF. A lot of these involve getting walked in on int he most awkard ways possible, but before I get to rambling too much let’s just dive in and check out the best/most awkward sex stories, shall we?
I was banging my high-school gf on the sofa in the basement while watching a movie. We were doing the lazy doggie, so kinda just laying like we were cuddling and we had a blanket over us. We didn’t hear the truck roll up, but her father and brother walked in the back door of the house, like 20ft away (different room) and pretty much Walked right in saying, oh this movie, I wanted to see it. So, they both sat down, her father in another chair and her bother sat on the floor and leaned back on the sofa.. While I was still balls deep in her. We stayed like that for the whole movie.
Sucking my girlfriends nipples when she suddenly says “Yeah baby…. you like that? You like mamas milk?”
We were fIcking, and all of a sudden we heard this sound. It sounded like when you slowly pour water from a glass and onto the carpet.
I stopped. She stopped. (I’m still in her)
The sound just kept going.
After a few seconds I ask, “what the hell is that sound”?
Then, realize the vibration of the bed had pushed over a vase on the nightstand and it had fallen over, spilling water onto the carpet.
I started laughing just because it was so weird. I asked her what she thought it was.
She said, “I thought you were peeing inside me”.
I asked, why the hell would I pee inside you, and why would you just lay there and let me do it!?
First time having sex with this girl, I am on top. About a minute into it she stops me. I look down and see blood on her face. Turns out I had gotten a nosebleed and it dripped right onto her cheek.
But hey, now I am shopping for her engagement ring so I guess it worked out.
My girlfriend’s autistic brother masturbating while watching us. 0/10 would not recommend.
About 2 minutes in she gasped and said “oh jason.” My name is not jason, and we had been together for a year.
The username checks out…
Fell off the bed and dislocated my knee.
She was attractive, equally horny, and her parents were super liberal. They believed it was better to just let her lock up in her room with me, then have us get arrested doing it in a car. So every day after school it was back to her house and lock up in her room till dinner. So one time i have a few fingers in her when her mom knocks on the door. Its locked so we are fine but her mom is trying to talk. I start removing said fingers, but she whispers to me “this will only take a second.” and she holds on to my hand to keep them in. Then her dad joins the conversation. So im just sitting there listening to them talk about an upcoming trip while im knuckle deep. Only time in my high school career that i decided to pull the plug and say lets rest for a few hours. Shit just felt wrong.
Having sex outside of a mall behind a wall when we noticed about 20 people watching us bump uglies from the food court above us..
This one girl would cum so hard when I gave her head she would sometimes fart. We are dating. For 8 years now.
Took my girlfriend’s viriginity, and naturally she bled all over my dick. She looked really embarassed so I tried to lighten the mood.
“Oh you know me – I don’t mind a bit of ketchup on my hot dog”
I still don’t know why I said that.
Cold dog nose on my ‘taint. 1/10, even on a hot summer night.
Girl told me to choke her, so I did. She kept saying harder, so I obliged. By the end of it, I had all my weight on this girls throat. I easily out weighted her by 100lbs. She still kept telling me to choke her harder.. She was turning blueish and started to choke/cough. I couldn’t do it anymore, I went limp and pulled out. She was so mad at me for ruining her orgasm, “I was right there!” I never talked to her again.
Losing my boner and then losing the condom… Inside her… There’s no coming back from that friends, let me tell you.
My wife fell asleep while I gave her oral.
Long story short: Knocked a Furby over which promptly rolled under the bed and couldn’t stop talking.
“ah! ah! weeeeeeee!” said the furby.
Bumping ulgies with this girl, her on top, when she lays flat on me. When she lifted her body again suction somehow occurred between her boobs and my chest and it made that ‘hand farts’ fart noise which made me absolutely lose it. She didn’t think it was all that funny. Doesn’t matter though, had sex.
I was going at it with my, at the time, gf and she stops me, farts and tells me to continue
I’m eating her pussy like its the last supper. She got relaxed, too relaxed and puffed a very polite fart right into my face. Nothing grotesque just “Pooooft”. I stopped munching, looked up and gave her what must’ve looked like the People’s Eyebrow. She was mortified. Nearly crying from embarrassment. I shrugged and went back to the buffet.
Awwww what a happy memory.
Gave a girl a “paralytic orgasm”. She literally contorted her face on one side like she was having a stroke and her hands turned in like she was posturing. Lasted about 2-3minutes.
It threw me off at first but was also kinda proud of myself.
Alright bros, there are a whole lot more of these stories over on the AskReddit thread, and you can read through the rest of them by clicking any of those links you see above. In the meantime though, if you think you’ve got a story that can top these you’re free to fill out our 100% anonymous ‘ Tip Off Line ‘ and send us your story!