Paris Hilton, who was last internationally relevant when the remnants of Al-Qaeda were being flushed from southeastern Afghanistan, somehow believes that she is on ISIS’s kill list. Look. Look. I can maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe see Osama Bin Laden, when he was on the run, catching an episode of season one of The Simple Life , trying to unwind from the constant threat of U.S. airstrikes, and, after seeing Paris Hilton unable to function on a farm in Arkansas while blathering on about how difficult sleeping in a twin bed is, thinking, “Damn, if I get the chance, I would kill her,” but there is no fucking way in hell Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, issuing edicts out of Raqqa, knows who the fuck Paris Hilton is. I mean, talk about being fucking delusional. Kim Kardashian, yea. I could see ISIS wanting to off her. Paris Hilton? Not a fucking CHANCE. But here she is, insisting ISIS is after her .
‘I’m constantly moving around from one country to another and I’m a famous person who could be a definite target for an attack and that is something that sometimes terrifies me.’