Lindsey Pelas turned 25 years old today. Did you get her a gift? Neither did I. Lindsey and I decided we aren’t doing gifts this year. Maybe we’ll just stay in and cook dinner and throw on a movie we both have already seen before so we can slap skins in the middle without missing a beat. I don’t know, still gotta iron out plans with Lindsey. Anyway, Lindsey took to Twitter today to thank her 245,000 Twitter followers for the birthday wishes, all while showcasing her 30H chesticles. 30-H. That’s not a cup, those are parachutes. Lindsey’s shirt didn’t stand a chance. Is there any more distinctive gender quality than the difference between how men and women handle their own birthdays? I had to be reminded of my birthday last year while every girl I know honors their day of birth over a 30-day ego stroke they call their ‘birthday month.’ They can’t stop calling attention to it but when you ask how old they are, they get pissy because it’s rude to ask a girls age or something. Chicks, man. Chicks. I don’t know, maybe I’m just hating. Which in that case… Not lyin.