Publicizing a relationship is a life decision. Deciding to go ‘Facebook official’ even for peasants like you and I (ok, mostly I) comes with an onslaught of artificially enthusiastic congratulations from your Facebook friends and phrases like ‘dude you’re weak’ from your real friends. How dare I pursue an enriching, energizing relationship with a beautiful girl who I can learn from and with, real friends? Fuck me, right. Now imagine being one of the biggest movie stars in the world and one of the hottest supermodels on the planet. People would stand in line in a tropical storm just to catch a whiff of your farts, nevermind chomp at the bit to get a glimpse into your love life. That’s why it took Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk one year to publicize their relationship on social media, and even then it was a weak coming out party. And by weak, I mean I wouldn’t have it any other way.
A source told E! News that that is in fact Bradley acting as a chair in that hot tub, much to the envy of every straight man on the planet. But enough with Coop. Let’s talk Irina. Pictures say 1,000 words.
Not that hot. GULP.