Would you? Ya me too. Now that we’re on the same page with that one, can we discuss how I was shamed by an coworker who SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS for this confession of having the hots for EmRata Senior. Mrs. Ratajkowski looks like she could bake a KILLER peach cobbler, tell you stories about seeing Elvis live, and then take everything you’ve ever learned sexually and turned it on its head. She seems like the kind of chick who would light incense and put on Patsy Cline on the record player before riding you like her 1960 Ford Thunderbird. That’s simply an experience you can’t get with these self-absorbed, insecure 20-somethings. If I know Mrs. Rata like I think I know Mrs. Rata, she won’t even call me after she ravishes me. Because she’d just send me a letter through the U.S. Postal Service, maybe even throw in a Savings Bond for being the sexual savant that I am. Plus, at age 23, momma gives her daughter a run for her Blurred Lines money.
Ok, maybe not.