Katy Perry ranked her three ex-lovers’ sexual abilities from worst to best the other day, and DJ Diplo took his place at the end of the line. Orlando Bloom won silver, and her most recent ex, John Mayer, took the gold in the Orgasm Olympics. Thanks to all who competed, and to the losers, take comfort in remembering that your lives are better than mine. Diplo’s initial response to manning up the caboose was light-hearted; Then the hammer was dropped. Perry was likely choosing her sex rankings based on her views of each person outside the bedroom, as Diplo has gained the reputation of being a douche canoe. Diplo dated singer M.I.A. back in 2004 when he was an aspiring DJ-producer and a couple years back she told Rolling Stone how big of a controlling ass hat he was.
“I was with Diplo and he basically just like shat on every good thing that was happening to me, and I just didn’t enjoy it because if I was on a cover of a magazine he’ll be like, “What do you want to do, like be on the dentist waiting room table? Like, is that what a magazine is for? It’s corny. Like, don’t do magazines.”
And you can’t forget about tweets like these: You’re so cool, Mr. Diplo. Let me be you.