All I ask in the next life is that I come back as a professional athlete. I don’t even need to be a prime-time player, just a solid shoe-string tackling special teams guy with great hair whose respected in the locker room. Just get me involved in three or four plays a game so I have a chance at avoiding CTE but I’m allowed to change my LinkedIn title to ‘Pro Athlete Bitch.’ Because right now, I have a better chance at holding onto a bucking bull on cocaine than I do holding a conversation with a girl like Rachel Bush after I tell her I’m a professional blogger. Meanwhile, Browns safety and SEVENTH round draft pick Jordan Poyer has locked down one of the hottest girls I’ve seen on the interwebs, according to Busted Coverage . The most impressive part of it all is that he had the ability to drag her to Cleveland. Presumably on her own will.
Ya, I’d probably projectile vomit all over her before saying hello.