Ashley Graham’s the first plus-sized model to be included in the otherwise predictably to the point of discriminatory, trimmed and thinned sensuously bikini-clad Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition modeling crew. Take a look at that photo and tell me that Graham didn’t send your blood rushing to your treasurepole. For sure, variety’s the spice of life, but it’s also the raging heart of a thunderous erection. It’s about damn time we brought some curvaceous babes to the stage. I mean, look at that well-built magic.
Real-talk for a hot minute: I could see myself growing old with a woman like Graham. Yes, old, and wrinkled, and probably feeling the crippling effects of a lifelong-abused liver, but never with a night in the sack with her where I couldn’t get it up, and then enjoy a steaming platter of victorious bacon with a case of not light beer to wash that shit down. Too much? Whatever, get at me. In a statement, SI declared Graham was chosen to join the pack for more than her glaring sex appeal. The statement reads: “Ashley, a native of Lincoln, NE, started her career at the age of 12, when she was discovered while shopping at her local mall in Omaha. Since then, she’s gone on to do everything from editorial to runway to catalog, and is best known for her work as a lingerie model for retailer Lane Bryant. In 2013, she also partnered with Canadian brand Addition Elle to develop her own lingerie line, and has branded herself over the years as an advocate for beauty of all shapes and sizes.” Okay, I see you SI, I see you, buut is the reason this scantily-clad curveball (see what I did there?) from the dudes at SI was chucked our way, no more than the symptom of a deep-seated desire to jack magazine sales while the readers well, jack off. Totally, but fuck it, cause we have this now, and there’s never going to be anything wrong with that right thur.